I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
