At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
