We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
