Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even my vagina gasped.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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