remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
