You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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