Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
