tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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