Your dad touched me again.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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