from now on my penis is your penis
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
