You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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