I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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