I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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