their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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