The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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