he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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