Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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