Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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