Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
