I bet he comes in French.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
