I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
