I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ruined the universe
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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