it's like iHOP with fire
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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