I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
