I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
