I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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