She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
