but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
