If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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