walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
