At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
