Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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