I heard we made out
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
