i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
