Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
