and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
