Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
