I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
PANTIES FOUND
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