Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
