His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Please don't give away my fajitas
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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