how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
