I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
