i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
