Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
