But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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