I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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