booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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