Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We have so much sex to catch up on
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
