hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
