Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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