Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
